We’ve likely all been in a situation of trying to get over someone. It’s not always easy, and the closer/longer you were with someone, the harder it will likely be.
Sometimes we never receive closure or a clear explanation as to why a relationship was ended. But either way, there is no point ruminating on the past and, simply put, feeling bad.
Not long after my last relationship ended, I had a friend over for a glass of wine and some nibbles and she gave me some really good advice. As we sat on my couch together, she could see that I was still feeling sad about my past relationship.
“Hunny,” she said in her strong Turkish accent. “Do you want to know one simple trick to forget about him forever?” she asked as she set her Pinot-Grigio-filled wine glass down on the coffee table.
“What’s that?” I asked. She had my attention like someone about to tell me that my favourite makeup line was 50% off.
“You have to think that he’s already married. Every time he pops into your head, you need to think: he’s married,” she told me, slowly flipping her hand back as if to show something was gone.
I let that sink in for a few seconds.
“For all I know he could already be married,” I said to her with a slight giggle.
“Exactly dear, he’s married,” she replied with a reassuring look. “That’s all you need to know.”
Although it did somewhat sadden me at first to think of him married, I could definitely see where she was coming from.
By thinking your ex is married, you accept to yourself that he is pretty much off the market, that there is no future between the two of you at all, and that things are truly over. No more wondering if they might reach out, no more wondering who they may be dating or what they’re up to. They’re already hitched and that’s the end of that.
Done and dusted.
I have to say my friend’s advice worked. It helped me to move on and feel less sad about the whole situation. Every time mon ex popped into my mind, I would think he’s married. It helped me to stop thinking about him all together, which is something you eventually need to do when you’re trying to get over someone.
Breakups are not easy and moving on can take time. Be kind to yourself and focus on what makes you happy and brings you joy. You may discover things about yourself that you weren’t aware of before. With time, you will start to see things in a new light.
Apart from this simple trick, what also worked for me was getting out of the house, keeping active and trying my best to stay positive, even in the midst of a global pandemic.
What about you: do you have a technique that helped you to move on from someone?
Until next time,